Finally. Started Clearing the piles of work. well, on module down.

thinking about it, it's easy and better to just do it earlier, and have more time revising and relaxing, rather than to relax first. well, it's still quite stressful as yet, as there are many i do not know how to answer at all.

and assignments to rush. Assignment rather.

tiring.

life has been awesome the past few week. Thanks be to the Lord who has guided me.


had great fun on friday. just not much pictures taken. haha. but indeed it's real wonderful, meeting up with teachers from pri and sec sch, as well as 4love peeps. some of them. at ALUMNI DINNER! great food, great fellowship, great time. hope for more time and chances where we can spend together. =)



Saturday was MLM, million leaders mandate, a leadership course. Learnt quite abit, more to the spiritual side like how leaders pray, the life we were meant to live, and our spiritual gifts. one more important thing that i've learnt, and have wanted to do but not done till that day itself was to write a mission statement for my life. which i did. we were given time to do so. it was a really meaningful day though i've let my work pile up on me. on that night, i rethought about it and added more into it, and also added a "principles to live my life by" list, so as to really guide where i'm walking, and what is it that i'm wanting in my life. not the material things though. will post it up soon. but just not today.


sunday was a real comfortable day. i really felt a peace in my heart and mind, and it's really really comfortable. I would love to have that feeling staying in me. wanted to go home and study and do my work after church, which i didnt really manage to. and in the end, i didnt. i managed to go for a run as it didnt rain and the sun wasnt so sunny. and once again it felt good. thank God for the weather. After run, i took a cool-down stroll under my block. 2 rounds. just alone, and the presence of God. it feels real real comfortable. I notice i've been saying it feels comfortable alot. because it really does. it's real peaceful, and i'm not able to think of anything else, but the wonders of God. and the silence and the walk, keeping calm and just enjoying those moments that i have.

other of the days have been well to do. besides being able to follow bits of my mission and principles that help me as i live on, nothing much interesting till today? well, not much of what i can remember, happening, except studying, gyming and training. oh! i started my WSS training. =) theory first. hhaa. hope i wont be the group being kicked. :/

something really struck me. Because wednesday was a day where we had our semestral project, Mr lim asked mike, the class rep to do up the groups. and i got upset and kinda hurt when i saw where my name was, today, right before lesson starts. well, yesterday to be exact. the 1 or 2 names which just turns me away. and i wonder why they put me there. and i overheard nick saying something like putting us by our characters and abilities. blah. honestly i dont see anything in the group, maybe except for dc? i'm not that great either. so why am i thinking that way? selfishness took over me. i dont want to be in a group where nothing can be done, well, judging the last sem proj, and how some things occurred.

i really wonder with that heart of mine. and as i continued to think, seeking the Lord. He reminded me. It's not that bad. DC is still there. It may be a chance to improve communication with him. Farhana and Yijie. Not many in the class can communicate with them well. Honestly, they all dislike them, so.. I guess i'm there cos i can communicate somehow. though i'm also under the influence of the class. besides that, i may be able to have an opportunity to lead as well. and i can try to make a difference.

It's not my own strength that i seek, but God's. And through him, many things are possible.

Hope things will turn better. and my work can be cleared. it still is piling. :/

Didnt know where to put this just now, so I figured to post another one for this.

For last week, our first French lesson, our homework was to look for a French name as it's a tradition to use French names in class instead of our names. The first name that caught my attention was Macaire. and I didnt simply look for a name as I wanted one with meaning. So in that particular site, Macaire means "blessed" and I thought "hm.. sounds good and have a nice/good meaning too".

But I wanted to confirm the meaning. so I tried to search again days later at another site, to see if the meaning was the same. and I couldn't find "Macaire". so I looked up for the meanings and got a few. but at the end of the day, i stayed with the thought of the French version of Jeremy, which is Jeremie with an accent. which means the Es have a little symbol on top.

However, this week, when French lesson came, I was thinking, can we take from the net, or must we take from our book. Many took from the book too. And so, I reconsidered. Now, cant check the meaning though, cos too little time, and I did not bring my Laptop. So Enzo was the name I picked from the book. sounds cool too. Was originated in Italy though. not really French, but it's okay.

Few minutes before blogging this story, I was searching for the meaning of Macaire once again, and found it to be the same, and also for Enzo which means "home ruler". Cant cipher what it means though. and yes, i would like macaire as my middle name since I didnt get it for my French. :/

Here's the amazing thing. In church, this came to my mind. to look up on Macaire once again. and the thought of putting these 3 names together, came. Hence, ...

Jeremy Enzo Macaire (J.E.M.)

Now i'm really loving it.

Much have been going on. Like on Fri, I went for a haircut after.. 3 months? a cooling, bold, and daring cut? well anyway, had training, followed by a track "makan session" where we had a video and prize presentation to those who have broken records through IVP and.. ISG? and food, and abit of other bonding. and on Sat, which was yesterday, Sentosa with Track team so have fun and bond. Thanks seniors and those who organised whatever. Really enjoyed myself. Only thing is that I've got an uneven tan. :/

Went to help mil (pronounced as mel) for the bbq later in the night. Joel Boe and Milicent's soon to come and belated birthday party, respectively. A combined birthday BBQ. Thanks for inviting. Great time. Youngest there though. haha.

As for today, had a great time of refreshment. Thank You Lord. Indeed, today have reminded of somethings. Like how You will give me the strength to continue on with life and all that's around. Indeed, I want to soak in Your unconditional Love.

Help me to spend more time with you, seeking you, and building a closer relationship with you.

As Long As I Have You
Though I'm walking through this valley
Lord, the truth is
I know You're walking through this, too

So I press on, fearing nothing
Keep my mind on one thing
For you this is nothing new

And all along you comfort me
And a sense of peace comes over me
And You show me how to rest
And trust in You

Let the walls around me crumble
Let the wind and rain come through
'Cause I can face it all as long as I have you

Let the earth beneath me crumble
Let the enemy pursue
I can face it all as long as I have you
As long as I have you

You renew, restore me
Make my paths straight for me
Set a feast before me, too

And my cup is overflowing
Lord, You keep on showing
All that comes from knowing you

have not felt this in a long long time. but once again it's back. hopefully sleeping can get rid of it.

why are the days going down?

once again, i'm freakin pissed and not feeling good.

firstly will be work. i dont understand EPC! so many things not clear and we're supposed to just read through all of it being told that we've studied before. but some of the formulas and stuff are unknown! dont even remember my work before. i mean in sec sch.

and the way i'm studying, it seems to be so inefficient! i'm not getting anywhere, and i dont know how to start getting somewhere!

next. WHY?! i feel like just shouting straight back to your face that i dont care about whatever you care about. is your fs more important than your family?!f. i think things would be better if you manage things better instead of anyhow spending out there. you want to throw things out, once again you'll be wasting your money. and blaming us all for everything?! your bad luck, and your losing?

though i'm pissed and irritated on one hand, i'm those sort who's diff. i feel sorry. honestly. i just wish you would change. but at this point in time, i wish i'm grown up for a number of reasons.

irritated as i am, i really dont know what to do.

am feeling tempted to rant out here. but then again, it aint very good. so i guess i wont. :/

still have yet to read up. cannot afford to start things piling up.

here comes the heavy workloads.

the start of a new day, the start of school. starting was kinda ok, then i started to feel tired. fell asleep while waiting for computer programming to start after lunch. slept for quite some time i think. but it feels good for that short while. really.

Went out with Rachel, supposedly Gabriel too, who went for training. i didnt. didnt know there was training today, and i decided for a break. anyway, just walked to AMK hub, and around AMK hub talking and walking.

then went to dhoby to meet serene and supposedly a few others for dinner, who were supposedly going for a business seminar. dont see anyone except her other random friends from different places. At first, we're all just quiet, well a few of us. then slowly we started talking to one another, one by one. i think they're friendly. but i didnt manage to get to talk to them more because i wasn't going for the seminar which sounded quite interesting because i'm real exhausted.

there goes my opportunity to make more friends. :/ hope to have more chances though. i know i will. someday.